Confessions
by nepas
Summary: It is the night of Jim's birthday party and all Leonard can think about is Spock and what he means to him. When Leonard and Spock are finally alone, Leonard begins to confess his feelings for him, only to be interrupted, so he drops the subject. Spock has had enough of this nonsense and finally decides to confess his feelings for Leonard in the best way he knows how.


For all intents and purposes, Jim's birthday party had been a major success. Everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives. Nothing seemed to bring the crew of the Enterprise closer together than surviving a near death experience.

Leonard, on the other hand, wasn't feeling very happy despite having made it through the mission in one piece and the excellent selection of alcoholic drinks available at the party. He had been standing in the middle of the main room for the past half hour nursing a glass filled with a deliciously expensive scotch and feeling sorry for himself. He should be happy right now, but he just... wasn't. How could Leonard possibly be happy when Spock and Uhura had been together practically the entire night?

He let out a deep sigh as his eyes trailed across the room to where Spock and Uhura were standing close together talking. He could tell that they were talking about something intimate when her hand came up and caressed his cheek. Uhura leaned up and kissed Spock softly, her hands coming around his neck. Leonard felt sick all of a sudden, and it wasn't from drinking too much scotch.

He knew he should just walk away, find Jim, do literally anything but watch Spock with Uhura, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from them. Spock was telling Uhura something now and she was touching her necklace. Subconsciously, Leonard found himself reaching up towards his neck, his fingers touching the skin covering his collarbone. He stood like that for a few minutes watching them, when suddenly, Spock and Uhura looked up directly at Leonard. He dropped his hand and looked down quickly, the blood pooling uncomfortably in his cheeks.

" _Fuck_ ," he said under his breath. What the fuck was that? He was seriously losing it. He should have smiled at them or waved or done something besides looking down so awkwardly. He turned around quickly and sighed to himself. God, something must seriously be wrong with him. Here he is feeling upset over… Spock?! Of all fucking people. Even when he's nowhere near that pointy-eared bastard he's causing him grief. How fucking pathetic.

It's just… he had been so hopeful when Spock told him that he and Uhura had broken up, although clearly that's not the case anymore. He thought that maybe… maybe if Spock was single, then there would be a chance between them? That maybe he didn't imagine the sexual tension he has felt between himself and Spock over the past couple of years. And, of course, being stranded on that fucking hell of a planet with Spock for days hadn't helped anything either. Leonard took a long sip of his drink, trying not to remember what Spock had tried to tell him when they thought death was imminent.

Leonard finally decided to just leave the party and head back to his room because, honestly, this was turning into a real fucking pity party. He turned around to find Jim to say good night, when he crashed into someone, spilling his drink all over the both of them.

A pair of strong arms caught Leonard and steadied him so he didn't fall over. He looked up and was shocked to find himself mere inches from Spock's face.

"Shit, Spock! I didn't see you there!" Leonard exclaimed, stepping back from him once he regained his balance.

Spock dropped his hands. "It's quite all right, Doctor. I clearly startled you."

"You got that right."

"There is a bathroom around the corner. Perhaps we should clean ourselves up as I am not very fond of the smell of scotch."

"Yeah, yeah, good idea," Leonard muttered. He followed Spock out of the main room and down a hallway to the bathroom.

Spock opened the door and motioned for him to go in. Much to his surprise, Spock followed him in and closed the door behind them. Leonard leaned against a wall and watched in amazement as Spock took off his shirt swiftly and ran it under the tap.

Leonard's eyes immediately went to the Vulcan's toned stomach. Sure, he'd seen Spock shirtless countless of times before, but those were for medical reasons. He had always been too occupied trying to save Spock's damn life to notice how his rectus abdominis muscle was just barely visible under his skin or that heart-shaped birthmark on his rib cage or how soft his nipples -

"Doctor? Did you hear me?"

Leonard brought his eyes up and found Spock giving him a peculiar look.

"I'm sorry, I, uh, I spaced out for a minute there." Leonard felt his cheeks redden. Again.

"I see. Well, I was just asking you for your shirt, so that I may wash it out for you."

"Oh, right, of course," Leonard mumbled. He took his shirt off as Spock put his back on. He handed him his shirt and watched as Spock washed it in the sink.

"So," Leonard said, finding himself able to speak now that Spock was fully clothed again, "You and Uhura looked real happy back there." He regretted it once the words were out. God, that sounded so fucking pathetic, but he honestly just could not help himself.

"Yes, that is to be expected when a couple parts ways amicably."

"Wait… You and Uhura broke up?"

"Yes, I thought that was clear from our conversation when we first arrived at Yorktown."

"Yeah, but you guys looked real close back there."

"I will always care deeply for Uhura. When two people have been in an intimate relationship with each other it is only natural for them to share a special bond."

"Right..." Leonard trailed off, unsure of what to say. He felt excitement bubble up within him, but tried his best to remain calm.

"Ultimately, although we care for each other, we decided it would be best if we… saw other people." Spock turned around and held out Leonard's shirt, looking into his eyes.

Leonard reached for it, his fingers accidentally brushing against Spock's. Leonard's breath caught in his throat as they stared at each other. Leonard searched Spock's eyes and suddenly, everything felt so right. It was now or never, he thought to himself. This right here was it; he was finally, finally going to tell Spock how he felt about him.

"Spock, I've been meaning to…" Leonard trailed off. "What I'm trying to say, what I've _been_ trying to say is that-"

"Is anyone in there?" A voice called from outside the bathroom.

Leonard jumped at the interruption and hit his head on a shelf, the moment now ruined.

"Fuck, that hurt," Leonard groaned, rubbing his head.

"Yes, this bathroom is occupied," Spock called. He then placed his hand on Leonard's shoulder. "Are you all right, Doctor?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He put his shirt back on hastily. "Look Spock, I should… I should just get going to bed. It's getting late."

"Oh," Spock said. Leonard made his way to the door. "Very well, then. Sleep well, Doctor."

Leonard nodded and left the bathroom in a rush, those last words ringing in his ears. It almost sounded like Spock was…. disappointed. Damn, he must have hit his head a lot harder than he thought.

* * *

It was close to midnight when Spock finally made it back to his room. He had filtered around the party for a while, mingling with the crew and trying to get his mind off Leonard shirtless in the bathroom.

Unfortunately, in the quiet of his room, away from the noise and buzz of the party, it was almost impossible to think of anything but Leonard. The image of his chest under the florescent light of that cramped bathroom and the feeling of their fingers touching replayed over and over in his mind. And the way Leonard has been looking at him, like he was a piece of art. And that confession… Is that what he was trying to do before they were rudely interrupted? Confess his feelings?

Spock sighed, frustration threatening to bubble up within him. He walked into his bathroom and turned on the shower, the hot water filling the small room with steam. He stepped out of his clothing and started brushing his teeth.

This was getting absurd. It was clear to him that something was obviously going on between him and Leonard. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but Spock knew one of the main reasons he and Uhura broke up was because of his feelings for Leonard. It was simply illogical to let this fester any longer than it has already. He had to tell Leonard about his feelings. The worst that can happen, Spock reasoned, is that Leonard rejects him. He could handle that. Probably.

Spock spit the toothpaste out and looked at himself in the mirror. A drop of toothpaste had made its way onto his collarbone. Spock wiped it away, letting his fingers linger on his skin like he had seen Leonard doing earlier. Suddenly, he knew how he was going to tell Leonard that he wanted to be with him.

* * *

Leonard groaned when the alarm went off for the communal breakfast the next morning. He didn't have any duties today, so it wouldn't hurt to sleep in. It would definitely help the slight hangover he was currently experiencing. Yet, he found himself climbing out of bed and hopping into the shower anyway, the image of Spock eating in the dining hall his motivation to get up.

He let the hot water engulf him and he sighed to himself. He decided he was done trying to lie to himself about his feelings. He clearly had it bad for his superior officer and that was not changing anytime soon.

After a long shower, Leonard put on a loose pair of jeans and a tight army green shirt. He checked himself out in the mirror and made his way to the dining hall. He was disappointed to see that the whole crew seemed to be there except for Spock. Maybe he ate already? Leonard shook his head and got some food.

"Hey guys," he greeted as he sat down next to Jim.

"Bones! It's about time you showed up."

"I kind of have a hangover from last night, so I was a bit sluggish this morning," He said, digging into his eggs.

"Happens to the best of us," Sulu said.

The rest of the crew resumed talking about what they each had going on for the day.

"Hey, have you seen Spock today?" Leonard asked Jim as casually as he could.

"Oh, I have no idea. Haven't seen him at all this morning. I doubt he's sleeping in, though. Probably went into town or something." Jim smirked.

"Shut the hell up," Leonard growled. He was finally coming to terms with how he felt about Spock; he sure as hell didn't need Jim's thoughts on the matter.

"What? I didn't say anything!"

"Yeah, well, it's written all over that smug face of yours."

Jim laughed. "Eat your eggs and relax, Bones."

* * *

Leonard had spent his time between breakfast and lunch in one of the common rooms catching up on some new research findings that he had missed while he was on the mission.

When it was time for lunch, Leonard found himself without an appetite when Spock was absent yet again. He couldn't help but to think that Spock must be avoiding him. Oh, God, he fucked everything up. He made it weird last night and now Spock doesn't even want to be in the same rooms as him. Great. Just fucking great.

He ignored Jim's calls and left the mess hall, going back to the room he had been in before. He refused to let himself get upset over this. He took a deep breath and got himself settled onto the couch with his reading. Nothing distracted him better than the genetics of alien life forms.

He had made it through three research articles when there was a knock at the door. "Come in," he called, his eyes still on the paper he was reading.

"I see that you are reading, Doctor. If this is a bad time, we can talk at a later time when it is more convenient for you."

Leonard's head shot up when he heard Spock's familiar deadpan voice.

"Spock! Don't worry, now is very convenient for me." He put down the reading and sat up on the couch, trying to keep himself from grinning like an idiot.

"Very well. I wanted to talk with you about what has been going on between us the past few days."

Leonard felt his stomach drop and his hands get clammy.

"Yeah, of course," he said trying to play it cool. He motioned for Spock to sit next to him on the couch.

Spock sat next to Leonard and faced him. They were looking at each other like they had been last night, their eyes searching each other for things that Leonard didn't have words for. It took all of his self control to not just push Spock down onto the couch and start kissing him.

Spock cleared his throat. "I believe that there is this tension between you and me," Spock started. "A tension of a sexual nature. I do not know if you have felt it, but I have and quite frankly I think we are being most illogical to keep ignoring it."

Leonard found that grin from earlier breaking through. God, this was really happening right now.

"Mmm, I agree, Spock. I don't think we should ignore it any longer either."

"I know it may not make sense, but I have developed feelings for you, Leonard. I know that I am most likely not your 'type' and I understand if you do not reciprocate my feelings."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Not my type?! God, Spock, isn't it obvious that I've been in love with you for the past three years?"

Spock raised an eyebrow which Leonard knew meant he was surprised. "Well, I would not say it was 'obvious', as you express extreme annoyance anytime I say something near you."

"Yeah, well, that was my way of repressing my feelings for you. You haven't exactly been available these past few years."

"I am available now."

"Is that your way of asking me out?" Leonard bit his lip.

"No, it is not." Spock shook his head.

Leonard felt his stomach drop. _Oh, God, he doesn't want me. He likes me but he doesn't want to be with me._

"I'm sorry, I can't… I thought…" Leonard ran a hand through his hair and was about to get up when Spock interrupted him.

"Leonard, calm down," Spock said softly, grabbing his hand. "This is how I am asking you to date me." He used his other hand to reach into his pocket. Spock pulled out a black box with a blue ribbon tied across it.

Leonard let go of Spock's hand and opened the box. He gasped when he saw what was inside.

"Spock…." he trailed off. He didn't know what to say.

"Jim informed me that you were upset about my absence at breakfast and lunch today. It was not my intention to upset you and I apologize for any stress I may have caused you. I spent the day making this for you. I know you have said previously that you do not want an amulet of this nature since it can be used as a tracking device, but this is how Vulcans-"

"No, Spock, it's perfect. I love it. God, I was so jealous of Uhura for having one."

"Now you do not have to be," he stated simply.

"Put it on me?" Leonard asked, taking the beautiful necklace out of its box.

"It would be my pleasure."

Spock unclasped the necklace and placed it around Leonard's neck.

"It looks beautiful on you," he commented once Leonard turned around.

"Good because I'm never taking it off."

"Never? That is an awfully big promise to make. Perhaps we should not set so many expectations so early in our relation-"

"Spock," Leonard almost groaned. "Just kiss me already, please."

"Okay," Spock whispered. And then even softer he said, "Close your eyes, Leonard."

He did as he was told and closed his eyes. He felt Spock move closer to him on the couch and then his hands were on his face and then in his hair and he felt his breath on his lips. And then their lips touched softly, so softly, just scraping against each other. Leonard groaned at the sensation. And then they were kissing, really kissing, their lips tangled up in each other in the way that Leonard has always imagined. Kissing Spock felt so right it was almost too much to bare. He snaked his arms around Spock's neck and pulled him closer to him. Spock ran his tongue along Leonard's lips and so he parted his mouth and let him in. He tasted good, so fucking good, so much better than any human had ever tasted to him. Spock broke it off after another minute or so and rested his head against Leonard's.

"Was that," Spock took a deep breath, "satisfactory?"

"Spock, that was more than damn satisfactory. That was amazing."

Spock nuzzled their noses together gently. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Do you know how long I've wanted to kiss you for?"

"Tell me."

"Months. Years, if I'm being honest with myself."

"I apologize for causing you so much frustration."

Leonard smiled. "Don't worry, Spock, you'll have plenty of time to make up for it."

Spock hummed. "Can't wait."


End file.
